A Strange Warm Glow

I just had to write you tonight…I am afraid that if I don’t write now I won’t remember all the details in the morning.

Every summer our family puts on a block barbeque. Even the old neighbours that move away still come back to the bbq every year. With being in school, I don’t pay much attention to who my neighbours are as so many have moved as their kids have grown and I figure in a few more years my parents will do the same.

My parents invited their own friends to the bbq, and their kids who were about the same age as me. We grew up together somewhat, but didn’t attend the same schools. We would visit about once a month either at their home or ours. The one boy (Kevin), who was closest to my age was my height (stocky) with blonde curly hair. His family was not religious at all which always struck me odd but apparently my dad grew up with his dad and kept in touch.

I was not very social as I wasn’t allowed to hang out after schools or attend sports/band stuff. I tried to fight them on it but I never won. Anyways…

I grabbed a plate of food and went to hide by the shed/nut trees. I guess Kevin followed me because before I even started to eat there he was. I jumped and he laughed. I hated that my spot was found. He lit a cigarette and I was surprised he smoked. I guess I didn’t really know him that well so we talked for a bit (bout sports n music and stuff) and I started to feel kinda weird –like he was staring at me funny. I kept asking him what was wrong, and he kept saying ‘nothing’.

After I finished eating he asked if there was somewhere we could go to get away from everyone else. I asked why and he said that he didn’t want to be bothered by anyone. I figured we were fine there and I didn’t want to take him to my other spot -it was bad enough he knew of this one.

We talked or more like I talked for what seemed to be an eternity when he just reached over and kissed me on my mouth. I gasped for air at that point. I had never felt lips like that before. I mean when I was little my grandma once kissed me on my lips and this definitely didn’t feel the same. Kevin’s lips were so soft and warm. My heart was racing and I felt flushed and out of breath. I was covered with goose bumps. I tried to move back a bit but there was nowhere to move back to. He stayed close to me almost nose to nose, he was smiling and he rubbed my arm gently. I didn’t look him in the eyes-I couldn’t…

He asked in a deep whisper “Can I kiss you again?” and before I could answer his lips were on mine. He was directly over top of me-kneeling in between my legs that were lying flat and open slightly in a v. He brushed his lips along mine. My hands had clenched the dirt around me as my breathing was shallow and I felt every part of my lip with his- it was like little pin pricks. I felt like the pin pricks travelled down my body to my vagina and with every sensation I felt above –below would throb. Then he touched my bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. It was like warm chocolate. He paused for a moment and I caught my breath. “Follow what I do”, he whispered in my ear. He placed his lips over mine and slowly our lips were moulded together. His fingers were gently caressing my cheek. It felt so amazing, my vagina was throbbing like a separate heartbeat of its own, and then he slipped his tongue in and reached for mine which sent me practically through the roof. I let out a small groan. He took my hand and placed it on his chest. His heart was racing too, but I noticed more how his chest was solid. I also aware of how he smelled rugged and earthy -I did the weirdest thing… I took my hand off his chest and took his and placed it on my chest, which made his breathing become rapid as he gasped slightly, realizing what I just did I almost was about to take his hand away- and instead his finger moved over towards my nipple and lightly rubbed over top making it hard and sensitive. My vagina was aching like crazy, and this time I was sure I soaked my panties. I could barely keep my eyes open I felt like I was gonna pass out. A twig snapped and I immediately came back to earth and pushed him off not that I was strong enough but he quickly settled down beside me again. It was his brother, they had to leave. Inside I didn’t want him to go- I didn’t want it to end but I knew it needed to. I felt like everything was a dream and for the rest of the afternoon I stayed hidden under the nut tree behind the shed; hoping partly he would come back. I napped while there dreaming of our kisses and wondered why I hadn’t experienced this before…oh ya I was at a girls school~ I chuckled to myself…duh…


I can’t trust this to stay home now…too much has been said. I’ll start wearing my back pack and that way my journal will stay with me.

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